Relationships give meaning to our lives. At the same time, your closest relationships demand massive investment in terms of time, money, and most of all, emotional energy. Each relationship has its own share of ups and downs with its own challenges that need to be addressed.
But sometimes no matter how much you try, you may not be able to fit into that relationship. This may be a time when it is in your interest to move on.
Knowing when to move on is a very important aspect of being in a relationship. Most people don’t know this and as a result, get trapped in a toxic relationship for a long time. Apart from the sense of helplessness that these people may experience, the problem with being trapped is that it stops people from growing. It may also destroy their identity.
Here are some signs that will help you understand whether or not your relationship is becoming toxic and should you look at the option of moving on from such a relationship. Go ahead and evaluate for yourself.
- When you live in past memories more than the present.
- When the relationship brings you more pain than joy.
- When he/she expects you to change in ways that you don’t agree with.
- When you stay on, expecting he/she will change.
- When you keep justifying his/her actions to yourself and to others.
- When he/she is bringing you emotional/physical/verbal hurt.
- When the same situation/issue arises even after you tried addressing it.
- When he/she puts little or no effort in the relationship.
- When your fundamental values and beliefs are not the same.
- When the relationship holds you back hence preventing both of you from growing as an individual.
- When neither of you feels the same way about one another.
- When you force the smile to mask on.
- When you cry more than you laugh and love.
- When you feel alone, unheard and disrespected.
- When you are full of excuses.
- When you are envious of other couples.
- When your trust is broken too many times.
- When you don’t enjoy their company.
Keep in mind that the above-become signs that it may be time to move on, only if these things are occurring on an ongoing basis. Do not come to a conclusion on the basis of a single incident.
Once you have gone through these points, don’t jump to a conclusion directly. Sit down and have a conversation with your partner. Communicate what you are thinking, what you are feeling and allow your partner to do the same.
While it is a good idea to communicate directly, you can also think of consulting a coach or a therapist. It will help you both to face the challenges and stressors of the relationship.
Even after trying out everything, if nothing is working for you, then you may choose to end the relationship. But sometimes you may end up having regrets for the mistakes either you or your partner have made. Discussing this with a coach or therapist will be useful in helping you deal with it effectively.
Never ignore your instincts, listen to them, evaluate them and then decide. You may feel that you can never say goodbye or that it will be very difficult, but soon you realize it is easier than you initially thought. Remember that maintaining your self-respect and dignity is key to your mental health and well-being. Sometimes letting go is the best thing you can do for yourself.
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There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.
– Author Unknown