13 Tips to make Long distance relationships work

This entry is part 3 of 3 in the series Long Distance Relationship

Being close is the first and last desire of lovers, but being far and loving each other without an inch’s difference is the characteristic of real love.
~SENORA RAY

While long-distance relationships can be challenging, there are things that you can do to make them work. Even if you’re in the middle of a rough patch right now that is fine. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in the wrong relationship. You may follow some of the tips below and can look out for changes you need to make your long distance relationship work.

Make your long-distance relationship work with these strategies

  1. PRIORITIZE YOUR SCHEDULES WELL:
    It is best to establish a few parameters if you are in a long distance relationship or have just entered into one. It is better than falling prey to insecurities about the partner. You can make a list of the events which you need to work on and with that prioritize your partner’s time. It is important to prioritize so that your partner doesn’t feel left out. This can help you create an important framework that both of you can agree with and within which your relationship can foster. This also reduces the possibilities of misunderstandings, the space for disappointments, as well as the scope of negative interactions. This way your partner will feel like they are important in your life and doesn’t feel left out.

    The online Mind your Relationship workshop can help you in understanding your partner better which will enable you to focus and prioritize your schedules. This, in turn, will help you to avoid the unnecessary issues between you and your partner.
    “It is not about HAVING time, It is about MAKING time”
  2. MAKE SURE YOUR GOALS AND POTENTIAL ENDGAMES ARE IN SYNC:
    It is important to evaluate the duration for which the long distance will last, as obviously, it can’t be forever. The goals for the relationship must be known to both partners and reviewed once in a while in order to understand the pathways which you both are following.

    Are the goals you both are looking forward to in sync?
    Are you both looking out for the long-term relationship or not?

    These questions clear the picture whether you both are on the same page or not. When you and your relationship is goal-driven, it makes easier to plan things accordingly and would strengthen the bonds of love with the partner. It will instil a sense of security within you.

    With the help of the SOFT SEA Coaching model, you can aim to reform or transform your goals and match it with your partner’s. This will help you get in sync with each other.
    “The great relationship pertains to how well you continue building love until the end”
  3. UTILIZE TECHNOLOGY:
    Whether together or at a distance, it is all about feeling connected. Technology in today’s world can play a big role in helping partners feel connected in a long distance relationship. Distance doesn’t necessarily mean missing out on having a physical presence. This is where technological advances like E-mail, Cell Phones, Text Messages, Facebook, Twitter, Skype offer resources to be in touch with one another.
    Through technology, you can get easily connected. You can instantly be aware of what your partner is doing through social media. Social Networks can serve to compensate for the needs when your partner is away. Talking and updating about social connections is a feasible way to feel connected at a distance. This way you and your partner know about the people whom you are in regular connect with.
  4. TRY TO COMMUNICATE REGULARLY AND CREATIVELY:
    Keep the channels of communication open. It is substantial for the success of the long distance relationship.

    • Your conversations with the partner should not always be about how much you are missing the other person or how miserable you are without the partner.
    • Simply share what you did the whole day. If you noticed something interesting share that.
    • Be creative and discuss your future. You can also discuss what you will be doing when you meet each other next.
    • Learn to ask questions which are more likely to elicit an involved response from him/her.
    • Know your partner Love language. This will help you understand how your partner expresses and expects to receive love. This can actually solve most of your misunderstandings.
    “Precision in communication and connection is key if people want to make their LDRs not just survive, but thrive.”
  5. DO THINGS TOGETHER:
    Don’t just rely on general chat for communication. Come up with fun things to do together.

    • Watch movies at the same time together
    • Take a walk together
    • Cook the same meals or play a game together online.
    • Start having virtual dates to make it more romantic which shows that you are making an effort to make the relationship work.
    • Share the memories of those parts when you are together, in a different and creative manner. “The most important moments and experiences in life are meant to be shared with your partner”, says Backe.
    • Try to indulge in each other’s hobbies and motivate them to pursue their hobbies.
    Even miles and countries apart, partners can partner.
  6. MAKE VISITS:
    Yes, it may cost but visits are the highlights of every long-distance relationship. It is like the most awaited moment you and your partner both look forward to. After all the waiting you finally get to meet each other to fulfil all the things like hugging, kissing, holding hands etc. These are common to the couples who meet on regular bases but very special and intimate for you and your partner to make the most out of it.
    During the visits, don’t waste this time in speaking about the issues you face due to the long distance relationship instead enjoy the time you have got there. It will be like fireworks and butterflies all around.
    Plan the visits itinerary before-hand, don’t forget to add something new each time you visit. Capture every moment, every day and try to leave your phones alone otherwise. So when it’s time to finally shed the tears of saying goodbye, you’ll know your love can sustain being months apart until you can finally be in each other’s arms again.

    “Dream and aspire together”
  7. ENJOY YOUR ALONE TIME AND YOUR TIME YOUR WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY:
    You are alone but until and unless you choose to be lonely, you are not. Don’t let your world revolve around your partner – you still have others, your friends and your family. Try spending quality time with them and keep on maintaining your relations with them as well.
    Take this time to focus on what your hobbies are or what you want to achieve. Binge- watch shows, go to the gym, plan out a day with your friends. Do the things that make you feel happy, smart and fit.
    There are plenty of things for you that doesn’t involve your partner and it is okay to do things alone. It is consequential to invest as much love in yourself as you do in your partner.
    “The better you know and appreciate yourself, the better you can focus on knowing and appreciating your partner when you are together”
  8. STAY HONEST AND TRUST EACH OTHER:
    Long Distance Relationships should be purely based around it. Remember that you signed up for LDR with pure honesty, whether it is for a small or big thing. Both trust and honesty go hand in hand. You have to believe that your partner is being honest with you. If they say they wouldn’t do anything to compromise your relationship, they mean it.
    Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, and things like that. Don’t try and deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you, give you the support you need. It’s better to look at the issues during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.

    “Love + Trust + Honesty = Long Lasting Relationship”
  9. PERSONALIZED GIFTS:
    Gifts have the power to create a memento. Be it anything from very little to a big thing just make sure that you make an effort, energy and time to select that. It can do the trick when you are not able to meet your partner in person.
    We have a habit of attaching meanings with the small things in everyday life, whether knowingly or unknowingly. Try to store memories in physical things. It acts as hope. Be it a small pendant, a ring, a keychain, a collection of songs and videos, self-made cards or sketches or a bottle of fragrance.
    At the moment you miss your significant other, you can just hold on to these gifts. This is why something so basic and simple can mean so much to a person, when others may see little or no value in it.
  10. STAY POSITIVE:
    A little positivity goes a long way in keeping your relationship replenished. Whether you choose to be grateful, poke fun at each other or capitalize on good news. You need to make a constant effort to put in the positive energy in LDR.
    You may witness some moments wherein you wish that your partner should be by your side. You may start feeling lonely because of their absence but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven.
    Being grateful and thankful to what you have is one way to keep the positivity within you alive. Take care of yourself, it helps you stay positive. The key here is to be optimistic, and not view distance as an obstacle, but as a learning experience. In order to live together, you must learn how to live apart from each other.
    Mind Your Self Workshop can help you develop skills to manage your emotional state. This can help you stay positive in your day to day life

    “When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long”
  11. REASSURE YOUR PARTNER:
    Validations of commitment and support are crucial when things are difficult and homecoming feels far away. The downside being a partner is not there but the benefit is often unexpected as new efforts are made by each partner to compensate that absence. You can store up what you plan to say and look forward to hearing what your partner has to say. The communication is often intended to reassure and connect.
    Assure your partner once in a while that you are all in to make this relationship really work. You will put all the efforts to make it work. It is also a good idea to support your partner when they really need it. Love Languages helps you to reassure your partner in a way they will accept it and embrace your relationship with each other.

    “Give them the extra assurance when they are doubting whether it will work.”
  12. OPENNESS:
    Loneliness can be challenging to overcome. If you and your partner are both comfortable and agree to it, you each can explore seeing other people in your area while still being a couple. The very fact that both of you have agreed to date others while being in an LDR exhibit that you trust each other wholeheartedly. It also shows that both of you won’t let insecurities about your relationship get the better of you. It means that both of you are aware of each other’s needs. Also, you are willing to walk that extra mile to take care of them. Agreeing to this shows that you both are transparent to each other. Don’t shy away from discussing advantages as well as shortcomings in your relationship.

    “Disclosure of feelings, concerns, and confidences validates the trust that the other accepts who you are.”
  13. KEEP THE INTIMACY ALIVE:
    Maintaining intimacy, be it Physical or Emotional, is important to keep moving forward in your relationship. Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled with sexual innuendos and provocative descriptions. Sexy puns work pretty well too.
    The best way to work around with it is to have a sexual agreement of some sort – there is no best one, but you do need one. You must work double to make sure that you’re sensitive to your partner’s need.
    You must learn to anticipate each other’s need in advance. If your emotional intimacy is mostly communication and being in each other’s heads, then that ultimately means having the ability to see where an issue might arise. Resolve it before it has a chance to become a problem.

    “Distance only separate bodies, not hearts”

“If there is a reason to love at a distance and you work together – you will find a way.”

REFERENCES:


June 8, 2019
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